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Your SEO Sucks

Written by David Harry   
Friday, 21 September 2007 07:04

Ok… are we sitting comfortably? Then we’ll begin.

Apparently my Spam filters are working too well since I ain’t getting no good web marketing Spam lately… whadda drag since I am determined to Stop the SEO Madness. So I guess I will simply go search the web for SEO services and see what I can find…. The Ol ‘Don’t wait for your ship to com in, swim out and get it’ method.

The other day some smart ass asked me why, “ if yer so good why aren’t U ranked #1 for ‘SEO Services’?” – I told him cause I don’t wanna answer dumb ass inquiries all day with crap like “I want to be a PR6” or “Makes me rank in Googles” …. Been there done that. I don't do much actual SEO on my sites... word of mouth keeps me happy thank you very much. Anyway, I decided to search that term for some fun.

A few of the top results have one of my favourite bitches – Submitting to a Zillion Search Engines. A good example is;

“To make our services better, we perform manual submission of a website URL to the top search engines, such as MSN, Google, Yahoo, etc. Manual submission ensures greater quality because it allows customization of the site according to the latest requirements, unlike automatic submission which has a set of predetermined methods.”

To start with there are scant few that you’d even care to worry about ( see Neilsen NetRatings data in Thursday Beer Break) and even at that, the mere act of link building (required for ranking most any term) will bring the bots and take care of that problem. For the love of all that’s holy.. stop ripping people off selling such services!!!

Latent Semantic Analysis – sure it’s a small one, but if I hear another SEO spout off about Google using LSI in the search ranking process I am going to puke. It was acquired by Google for use in AdSense/AdWords ( as far as we can tell) not for the regular index. In the press release from the time (2003) Google referred to them as a “producer of software applications for the online advertising” and that it “will strengthen Google's search and advertising programs”. There has been NO EVIDENCE that it was for use in the RI (regular index). As those whom know my rants, I believe the relevance train is more powered by methods related to Phrase Based Indexing and Retrieval and other technologies. Either way, stop blowing smoke up customers asses with technical crap that is unlikely a reality.

ADDED; Ok, Bill (Slawski) just sent me some info relating to LSA and the organic SERPs which MAY imply it's usage - either way, don't use technical crap that we are unsure of to impress your consumers.... bad form people.

Meta-tags – the meta-description is mildly useful ( more for conversions than ranking IMO) and the meta-keywords is all but useless for ranking a page. Stop telling people it is a valuable service that you will provide via these elements. There are certainly some engines that treat them as ranking factors, just none that will produce any traffic. One clown actually has a list on his home page that says, ‘Watch Out For SEO Companies Who Offer; ’ which contains ‘Meta tag optimization’ and then on an interior service page says part of their process is, ‘Meta-Data Optimization/Titles and Meta Tags’… bwaaaa ha ha ha ha…. I guess we better watch out for him then huh?

Reciprocal links…. Now come on… what SEO in his right mind would even bother offering recip linking packages??? Have I gone mad? If Google don’t like paid links, the days of recips being worthless is also at hand. It is not part of a serious SEO program!! Nuff said….

More submission tips.. One of these experts even has tips on submitting to Lycos, Excite, Alta Vista, HotBot and Netscape…. What year is this?? I am in a freakin’ time warp here folks…. Bad enough submitting to engines is stoooooppid… but wasting ANY time even thinking about the above is brain dead.

HTML Code validation? Whaaaattt?? Folks, as long as the site renders and the search spiders can get around your site to index it.. yer done. Compliant code ( validated) has absolutely nothing to do with ranking your website. Don’t believe me? Do a search for your ‘money terms’ and run the top sites in the results through a validator… I bet U it won’t pass.

Well that was all the fun I could find in the first 2 pages of Organic listings… next time I am gonna dig into the PAID listings on the first 2 pages…. I am sure to find more goodiness of SEO crapola……

Until next time, watch your step!


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