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The League of Awesome Optimizers!

Written by David Harry   
Wednesday, 14 October 2009 04:20

If SEOs were Superheroes

If your favorite SEOs where superheroes, who would they be? This was a discussion that came up last month with some pals, and I thought would be a bast to play with. Like any good geek, comics and superheroes were part of my youth. So it seems only natural to have some fun and turn some of my mates and people I respect in the industry into some geeky goodiness.

The following is nothing more than a random list of peeps I thought would make cool heroes (it's not a popularity thang m'kay?)


Link Bait aka

From the far away ‘Hypeandpimp’ Galaxy, Link Bait (a.k.a Lyndon Antcliff) arrived on earth with the uncanny ability to craft content that would hypnotize the masses and create unheard of curiosity. 

Few can resist his bait and links attract to him unlike any other before him. To be admired and feared, we're just glad he's on OUR side (he is on our side right?)

If you thought that other green guy that gets mad was something, you’ve never seen the Rant Master in action. A freak combination of brand bias, torrents and too much ‘Caffeine’ turned the once gentle Aaron Wall into a behemoth of unequalled anger.

He’s now a giant in the industry that can squash all but the mightiest of foes.

His nemesis is the Google borg whom he has saved us all from their clutches more than a few times.

When BCI Corp started messing around with cloning to create the perfect SEO warrior, they had no idea that they would one day spawn – the Siren.

Like her mythological counter part, Siren (aka Virginia Nussey) has the ability to draw the masses in with her sultry sonnets (SEM Synergy powers) and lyrical prose.

Never has an experiment gone so wrong, been so write.

One day while tending to their massive server farm, a fatal exception launched by the arch-villain ‘General Failure’ nearly killed them both.

In a twist of fate Jon and Lee were forever fused together with the Raven tools software as one and transformed into… The Raven!

With their mighty wings and razor sharp blade, they cut through the numbers to find the ultimate solution in the battle with the search giants.

Sebastian-X. What can we say? Not much really because he’s man of mystery.

We do know that he has survived a close encounter with the Google Borg, and survived (expletives and all) to tell the tale… which of course he doesn’t.

The Crab has the power to not only dissect and analyze mighty Search Corp.; he’s known to assist all in need (except for “fucking clueless moron(s)”.

His super-human ability to assimilate information faster than a speeding real time ADD fanboy, made mild mannered Joe Hall into ‘The Buzz Tracker’.

After year of tinkering he created one of the first REAL TIME internet buzz tracking supercomputers which he uses to wield massive power

No story can elude him!

Super Groups

Some of our heroes have even banded together to take on the powers of evil with team work!

Search and Social

Snyder-man; After being bitten by the search bug, Dave Snyder was transformed into the mighty Snyder-Man. A superhero with the power to smash information architecture into usable forms no matter how large the site. When it comes to ‘spider friendly’ pages, he’s second to none!

Kid Utah; A combination of thin AIR and an ongoing obsession with PaIR led mild mannered Jordan Kasteler down the path to a war against crap-hat SEO. Because of his incredible ability to assimilate information, Kid Utah can move at blinding speed and stay one step ahead of the evil Search Corp… none can match his velocity driven campaigns.

the' Baker; A master of all things search, Loren (the) Baker heads up the team’s tactical deeds. With a knack for team building and outreach he mixes them all together to find the best approach to every problem. The Baker always knows the right recipe for success!

Data Set; Part woman, part machine… Ann Smarty is the ultimate SEO weapon. She possesses every single search related tool ever made with one of the world’s first cybertronic exoskeletons. When it comes to the right tools for the job… she’s your best bet!

The Patent Pals

The founder of the Patent Pals - the Enviro Geek

Once upon a time Bill Slawski worked for the dark side (as a lawyer..hehe) until his company yacht was engulfed in an environmental disaster and capsized.

He was reborn from the chemical stew with a uncanny ability to take apart search patents and IR research at will and has gone on to use his abilities for good and to clean up the planet.

David spent many years training in the mountains with the masters at the Shaolin SEO Temple.

He returned to society only to embrace the modern technologies and wander the web spreading the word.

With a keen eye for understanding the enemy (Search Corp), The Gypsy can appear almost any time, any where… and bring unruly SERPs to their knees.

And together they all form....


the League of Awesome Optimizers
(click here or on image for larger version - even use for your desktop, I did..hehe)

And who's YOUR favorite SEO Superhero?

And that's it for the moment. If you have a 'SEO Superhero' in mind, be sure to drop me some ideas in the comments. If it turns out peeps have as much fun with this post as I did making it, we may revisit soon and make some more.

Or hey, go make your own with the Marvel Hero Creator or the HeroMachine - it's just some geeky good fun!

I hope you enjoyed the ride.... until next time, stay tuned!


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